My name is Jennifer M. Noble and I am so pleased to meet you. I am just as excited to know that you were able to find me here and now. For so many years, I have been the one needing and searching for help coping with everyday stresses that have presented themselves to me on an everyday basis. Here and now I have found the strength and a desire to help those that are in need of coping with everyday stresses. I want my story to be heard and I want my story to be used as a learning tool. I am not a life coach that has said to anyone, “I know what you are going through”, without actually going through it. Coping skills are amazing tools if implemented correctly, consistently, and with a great support system. I am happy to answer questions, give opinions, even give some advice. I understand its hard when you don’t know someone to openly talk. So ask questions and lets help each other find a solution to your stresses.
Release anger in a positive and safe way. Release all the anger you hold in a way your not hurting yourself or others around you. Everyone understands that when we get hurt and we don’t find a positive exit for our negative emotions we tend to take it out on the ones we love and care about. Here are two helpful techniques to help put your negative emotions into a positive solution. One is to use your bathroom mirror as a punching bag per se. If someone really makes you angry and you really want to give them a piece of your mind, yell into the mirror. That’s right, use the reflection in the mirror as if it were the person you really want to yell at. Then the next time you see them the anger isn’t as tense considering in your mind you’ve already said what needed to be said. second, is to write all your negative thoughts down in a journal or write them down on a scrap of paper. when you have gotten all your negative thoughts out, rip it up and throw it away. Both methods work well for me and I hope it will help you too.
Blaming others for our decisions is so easy. Imagine not blaming others for our own actions. Yes, my dad was an alcoholic, but it definitely wasn’t his fault I chose to drink my first beer with my friends. It was because I thought it would make me feel better. Instead it made me angry and out of control because when I drank I couldn’t handle my own thoughts. Even when I’d get into fights, I never really asked myself what fighting accomplished. It never took the pain away, it never made me feel better about myself, and it never made me feel in control. Anger is a feeling that will grow and grow if you keep feeding it memories of hate and discontent. What has happened to you or me in the past is not the blame for the actions we put in motion now as an adult. As an adult we make our own decisions, we are the master of our own domains, and we have choices. So we need to stop blaming others for our actions and start taking responsibility of them.
Forgiveness is an important skill to learn and except as well. Yes, it is much easier said than done. I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar 1 with Psychosis about 15 years ago. All caused by PTSD from my childhood. My father was not a nice man and that’s an understatement really. But through counseling (4 years) I had to learn to forgive. I had to learn to forgive myself and to forgive the circumstances as well. Meaning, it wasn’t my fault I had an alcoholic of a father, it wasn’t my fault when I was left in his care alone, and it wasn’t my fault that my father preyed on a little helpless child. This thought process worked for me on just about every terrifying, hurtful, and unforgettable experience I endured when I was a young child. I believe this thought process could help you as well, whether you have endured more or less than what I have. Either way, it is important to forgive yourself and all of the circumstances.
This is one of the hardest skills for me to except and understand completely. A long time ago I believed I just didn’t matter. Family and friends just couldn’t persuade me to think otherwise. I just didn’t matter to anyone, never felt like I’d be missed, nor did I believe I did anyone any good by being around them. Well, the important skill I learned, was that I did and I do matter. I matter to my children first and foremost. Same goes for all of you reading this that has children. They depend on you and me to be their parents, to teach them, and to be their supporters. So we do matter! We matter in so many ways. Just smiling at someone that is having a bad day, being supportive of others, and finding a positive support system for yourself matters to other people and always has a way of making you feel as though you matter.
For the people that don’t know me at all, I am a recovering drug addict and a recovering alcoholic. I have been in recovery for 10 years and have been helping others for about 5 years now. One of the first skills I was taught was to understand that beer, hard alcohol, and drugs will never take away your pain. No matter how messed up you get, you will NEVER forget your pain and disappointment’s. You may think you hid it somewhere, but it will reappear as soon as it is triggered. Believe it or not but beer, hard alcohol, and drugs all play a part in depression and can amplify a diagnosed or un-diagnosed mental illness. Think about this, people with a mental illness are medicated for disruptive behaviors, depression, and inappropriate thoughts, right? People that drink and do drugs are also known for disruptive behaviors, depression, and inappropriate thoughts per se, right? Self medicating yourself with drugs and alcohol isn’t helping your behaviors and lifestyles, they are actually contributing to your bad behaviors, depression, and inappropriate thoughts.